Remember one of those days. You have one of your best haircut and put on your best outfits and you are off to work feeling too good about yourself only to feel a tad disappointed that no one even cared to comment on your hair cut or your best outfit. Welcome to the real world. Nobody gives a damn as they are too busy thinking about themselves and are in the center of their own world. This is even better. You are at work sipping coffee busily staring at your computer screen and lazily take a sip only to find coffee dropping on your pants. That’s a truly awkward moment and people watching nearby seem to pretend as if nothing transpired in front of their eyes. In both these situations we over estimate the fallout of our actions and sometimes have a sigh of relief at the lack of attention generated by our awkward actions or experience dejection due to lack of positive responses from others for something we expect a reaction for.
We all feel too important in our own scheme of things and unconsciously try to project our own self importance on our external surroundings. More often times than not we end up being in the center of a circle which seems to contract inwards towards us with our thoughts not echoing with the same wavelength with our imagined audience. It looks as if we are victims of an inherent bias working in the back of our minds that our actions are worthy of others attention. We assume all people around us are turning their spotlights on us and think of our lives as a part of some reality television sitcom constantly playing on our audiences mind. As much as we like to think that spotlights are always focused on us in actuality the facts portray a contrary picture. In reality people don’t even turn on the reality sitcom we think we are a part of as they are paying attention to other more interesting channels out there in plenty confronting them with the paradox of choice. This indifference of our imagined audience blends in with the so called theory of Spotlight Effect
The spotlight effect is the phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are noticed more than they really are. Being that one is constantly in the center of one’s own world, an accurate evaluation of how much one is noticed by others has shown to be uncommon. The spotlight effect was first reported in 1999, when Thomas Gilovich and Kenneth Savitsky coined the term. The reasoning behind the spotlight effect comes from our human tendency to forget that although one is the center of one’s own world, one is not the center of everyone else’s. This tendency is especially prominent when one does something atypical. Research has empirically shown that such drastic over-estimation of one’s effect on others is widely common. Many professionals in social psychology encourage people to be conscious of the spotlight effect and to allow this phenomenon to moderate the extent to which one believes one is in a social spotlight. -Wikipedia
After turning the spotlights on Spotlight Effect if you are wondering what the Damn? Damned if other give a Damn and Damned if they don’t give a Damn. So why give a Damn? Live life anyway without giving a Damn. Damn! Damn! Damn!